illusion

well.i dun knw why im feeling this...i do what also no energy.i think and think,and i will keep thinking about it.i knw it.i really knw it.

uselsss

always think that im better than what i expect.but actually im not.
i knw im not but i wish im the one.
i really hope,really hope.why they are so talented.
im feeling suffer.minds blowing...

a pair of drumsticks

well,i need a pair of drumsticks.im craving for it.what kinds of drumsticks i want?well,actually the drumsticks that im asking for is a kind of spirit.something that can lead me to my dreams land.i don wish to fall,i wish to continue chasing my dreams.i need to hold on tight.i need!and i will find a drumstick which suit me the most!i can do it!

i drop my tears

u will ask me why,and i will tell you why.

currently,im working at mp,selling shoes.n today it was such a wonderful day for me,i drop my tears for it.Got a family came my working shop today,malay family,when i was standing inside,i saw a guy keep flipping at the discount shoes,those very cheap wan,then i not really care la,then walked away.till after that my manager told me,got one family she serving is so pity,she feel pity towards them.well,so i went out n have a look at them.well,it was the guy who was flipping those discount shoes.frm the appearance,can see that,they are not a rich family.a mummy,a daddy and a cute daughter.mummy a bit fat,daddy got tummy but their daughter is so adorable.very quiet n sitting between her parents.and she look at me n smile sweetly.i think she is only around 4 to 5 years old.her dad choose a cheap shoes,it is only around rm30.Then while they are waiting for my manager to take the shoes for the daddy to try,her dad like playing with her daughter,wanna punch her,but didnt really slap la..then her mummy walk around.then saw the discount shoes for kid.50% discount.she brought the shoes to her daughter and then let her tried.the size is just nice.then she keep teasing her daughter ask her want or not.her daughter smile so damm sweetly,very sweet n super cute!really cute.i can see her happiness when her mum was asking her.then her mum ask her dad want buy or not.her dad said ok.the shoes is only rm15 after discount,but it is really nice.after that,her mum took her wallet out,only left few bucks inside it,so she took out the ic holder and then took out money frm there,frm my view,i can see that there r only 3 pieces of rm50.so she took out one and wanna use it for the payment.then they move already and went to the counter to pay the bill,


By the time i was looking at the daddy tried his shoes and without really care about the design,he tried few design,cause all he wanted is just a right size,he not really care about the shoes design.i feel very pathetic and sad,and when i saw her daughter tried the shoes d and showing her contented and happy face,my tears drop,but no one really see it...

At that moment,i ask myself.where is the meaning?what i want.i admit i have been lost for a long long time,it was such a long time i dun have such feeling till i met this family.thanks god,i saw a lot of things...really a lot.and all these i cant buy it with money.

I realised when im getting older,and im growing frm years to years.all the innocent thinking gone.once i step in this society.i start to change.where is the heart should i hold on?the right thinking?till today,i only found it again.


Tears drop from my eyes,this time,im saying it with sincerity...


*so i knew it

empty

maybe was trying...
was trying to hold....
maybe just walked apart...
maybe the timing is spending my heart....
empty...
everything is a lie,
we live in a lie....
we live in pain...
life with ho mercy...
burning ur heart with fire...

happy day!!

yessshh!!i got 14.4 over 20 for my bmg!i knw this is not high enough!!but it is a good news for me!1st time of me experience this.i feel excited n happy!haha.worth it!now i just hope i can do well in the rest of my paper!happy happy!!today is a good day for me!went for interview just now!at gogo...about bmg wan,got free drink then went arena,mr koh the jetty incharge treat us the whisky!i drink a bit!whisky plus coke!haha then rite went for duck mee!haha!


today was a good good day!n i knw 2ml will be better =)
shinning hope plus shinning star!im near by baby!!

peace...whee~~~~~~~~~~~~ XD

tired

!!!!!tired!!!
and i feel so hate!!!
hate hate hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what the hell im doing here??????????????
geram sial.........................hate n hate!!!!!!
working!studying n fighting everyday.tired.i want a better life.

cry =(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smile?

emm.i dun like to smile.coz i feel that my smile is kinda weird n silly.i hate my smile...but i like to see people smile.emm.why i like to see people smile?cause by seeing people smile,they can replace my smile.i no need to smile n they will smile for me...



i hate smile......
cause im complicated......

自己

问自己到底累不累?问自己到底还可以吗?问自己怎么了?
我很爱泪,我已经快停下脚步,不想在想那么多.
累,我是人类,我很累,但我的泪更累.
很累!请不要把我弄的更累!我已无力承受!
不是就不是.不要在说了!我不是了不起!我只是玩不起!
我累了...

不知不觉我的眼泪掉下来了.

stress

u tell me that is call friends?i pui!friends??u r just some selfish ass!!!so how?u tell me!friends!friends!pui pui!!!stress coz u!

a melody frm my heart

Im feeling moody,and i cant see any mood tonight,
Im feeling lost,i cant find my direction,
Im feeling exhausted,im breathing hardly,
Im feeling sick,sick of all the things around me,

Part 1

I walked into the jungle myself,i moved my first step by using my left leg,then with my right leg,step by step,i was walking slowly on the mud.My shoes were sticked with all the sludge.I walk by a tree,and i stood under the tree,seeing the leaves falling pathetically from the tree,i stretched my hands,the leaves dropped on the palm of my both hands.i hold the leaves tight in my hands,i made my movement by further more,and i saw a river in front of me,and there is a bridge there too,i walked to the bridge,i took a look on the river from the top of the bridge,i could see myself clear by looking on the reflection of the river,then i stood for a moment,i look at the sky,i can see the sunny sun,the sun was round,very very round n deeply inside my heart,i feel so burst,i feel so hot,i took a tissue from my pocket,i used it to wipe my sweat.i remembered it was a very hot day,and im waiting for the night to come....

Alone

Well,how do u feel,do u feel the same as me?
the feeling that i have now is confusing...
yes,im lame n weak in decide things.

but now i feel so alone

i dun wish to have an empty heart anymore,i wanna fulfill my life with other stuff,someone pls change my thinking pls,i cant live like this,cause i will be the loser if continuing avoid n escape frm the fact....

and im lonely,very lonely,
and im alone,very alone,
and im feeling cold,very cold,
and im down,very down
and im sick,sick of myself,
and im hate,hatress is coming now,
and im demanding,very brainless,
and im crazy,always crazy,
and im suck,suckest on the earth...

im im im,what am i?a failure?

*i will never knw

YES,I NO NEED.

Yes,i know im a sucker,im suck in a lot of stuff,i cant managed all my things well,im tired,really tired.im suck in studies,suck in love,suck in friendship,suck in family relationship,suck in business.why im so suck?knw why?cause im a sucker.

i no need youuuu!!
i no need youuuuu!!
i no need youuuuuu!!

i dun wan to need u,but i think i want u....

inconclusion.im suck.well,suck!

Im only 20++

well,recently im so stress!u tried my best d k!dun pressure me!why there are no people who can understand my effort?my hardwork?i try my best!my real best k?????i cant deal with it!stress enough!i dont want to fail as a human k!im not supergirl n im not god too!everyone got their limit!same to me too!!

我的感受

我真的不想说再见,害怕在也见不了,真的舍不得
舍不得,不舍地,你别走...好吗?
我真的真的很有着不错的感受,或者这只是想引起你的注意,
我知道我对你来说只是很平凡,像天空中的其中一块云,
但我也可以很耀眼只要你有心,那太阳会从我这上阳,
彩虹会环绕着我,鸟儿会飞过.

我想你了,你可以想我吗?

心不知不觉的碎了,i hate love!

emmm,heart heart heart heart break!
emm,hate love.love is what?
love is just a kind of illusion?
n i dun have any love,
im always alone,n alone.
im just a creep,weirdo....
what the hell im doing here??i dun belong here!
she running out again~~~~~

emo

im so emo,
i feel that im so useless,
im nothing,
im suck,
im so dead,
im a zero...

life is still life

thanks to the god...my mum is ok!i hope that my dad will be fine too...
love converse so much!hehe...
final coming,scare scare
homo2 coming,worry worry
i love my life still no matter what
never give up n learn to give in
be the best n beat the rest
breath in breath out
wooaahhh...im still alive!haha

silver colour

im feeling so down now,i dun knw why...
i hope i can get those friends who really care about me,
why i cant get the kinda treat that i deserve,
sometime,i really feel so sad,so so sad,
i hate being alone,i hate being neglect,
and i dun like people simply accuse me,
and i hope people can understand me too,
i give give give,all my best,im using my heart to treat people,
but what i get sometime is only misunderstanding n pain,
pls think for me too!i ain't robot,
why cant u all knw how im feeling??
do i deserve that kinda thing!!
selfish people!selfish thinking n selfish friends!!
my god,care for urself but not the rest,
bullshit,bullshit.well never mind!

THIS TIME IM SERIOUSLY
i promise my friends!her name is shu ping,thanks for her concern always,
i wanna change myself.i will!i must!i will do it!
i deserve a change,n i deserve a better treat.
start frm now,i will live through my own life.

U SUCKS!!!

ouch...

ouch...
day by day,
year by year,
im still me,
cause me is always me,
cause you are still you,
cause we are still us,
cause they are still them,
cause he is still him,
cause she is still shim,
the earth still running with the sun,
the moon still shine with the star.
and im still waiting for something....

kekasih gelapku

well,who willing to be my gf?lol...i guess no one.haha.dont knw why all of sudden im so emo.this world is damm cruel.fcuk it through my way sial.kekasih gelapku is so nice!i look back n stuck a while.thinking,why should i stop here?should i continue?
recently,im very busy,i was hoping i can get the best.but why cant i get?hope is so nice but yet hard...

IM BACK

well,well....recently i was so busy..let's see what happen k my whole last week...

sunday-my band!urban outcast joined the battle of the band organised by mmu malacca!!well.we were awesome!n we did our best for the competition d!rocks!my cousins n my mum purposely went mmu just to support me n vote for band!thank you!!=) well,the next day they ponteng school cause by the time the thing end already midnight.maybe that was one of the reason they used to ponteng lo!haha.so they stay my place!12 something we reach home.my cousin form4 wan diana was busy using my laptop on9 lo.then my cousin both form 4 and me de,were busy reading comic.we love comic!haha.till so late.we only asleep!

it was my semester break lo last week

monday-emm.sleep till 12something.lol.then rite my cousins woke me up d lo.clever lo them ask me bring them for movie!then at last,we went dp around 3 something.we watched lovely bones!well,it is a great movie for me!i love the story line!n i love the heroin of the movie!she is so pretty n cute!awesome.go for the movie guys XD

tuesday-sleep till 1.30pm(im a human but not a pig)...lols...then rite i guess i went out kua..not really remember.lols

wednesday-i guess i sleep till 1.30pm too.then right lazy here lazy there.then plan to study but right end up playing computer games.lol.at night,went out with my friends n his gf!we went station one lo.meet one of my friends.she is a designer.coz we need someone to design stuff for our company!i ate a burger ayam late in the night!i was so full!

thursday-sleep till 2.30pm.lol.seriously mad liao.then rite wake up,watch tv,read comics then rite my eyes cant tahan d,i keep yawning,at 3.30 o went sleep till 5 only wake up.once i wake up,i bath.then went out,were having a date with my mmu friend,went for movie!we watch under the mountain.god,the show for me is so funny,a bit stupid,it was a boring show!haha.but overall ok lo the show.then right i remember it was a raining day,i went jetty.thunder is so loud,skies r so dark,but i still love the night!

friday-emm,well,i choose to stay home.plan to study de.but once i open the book i will get distrated by other thing.1st thing is tv!my mum was watching a singapore movie lo.then i also watch with her liao.cham.so end up i watch till mid night 3 only sleep n put my studies aside.die.

saturday-early in the morning,i guess 11 something lo.my god brother wake me up d.well he come fetch me n we were busy preparing all the things to bring to kl!well,outcast enterprise was having an event.we been tailor kl!we rocks the night!tailor is awesome!the students there are nice,friendly n rich!lols.i make new friends!well,the event end around 10 something.after waiting for my friends.we go back malacca,around 2 something reach malacca!then we go mamak opposite my shop there,i ate half place of nasi goreng chili padi m half of roti telur!full gila.XD

sunday-emm.woke up at 11 something.lol.gene fetch me at one thirty lik that.we went mmu there!there was an event there.i spent my day at mmu today!wooahh~~~ christine teach me account!thanks bro!haha!n yin hua as well.thanks my fiends!then night i went micro de event!it was awesome.there are so many talented musician at malacca!awesome!well.11 something,i went src there study with my friend!she teach me account patiently!n im fully understand!thanks for spending ur time just to teach me!thanks!=)

n today is already 29/3/2010 early in the morning now is 4am,im still awaking,writing my blog.haha!i got 8am class...got to bed now!night!



i love my life now!life is meaningful!XD XD XD
nights are always young!!!!!peace!! =)

the recent me

It is such a long time i blog since my last update.well,there are too many things that happen recently.and i was like unexpected.i cant believe those things will happen.but i gonna tell myself,yes!i got over you,u're not worth perhaps.never mind.start frm this moment,i wont really believe love anymore.
YES!finally Outcast Enterprise is done!it is a good start man!i love music!i love the studio too!
YES!finally Evo Event Enterprise is done too!it is a good start too!
so recently really busy with my business stuff!but im happy coz it can keeps me frm thinking emo stuff!

i don wanna pain anymore,i don wanna,i don wanna miss u
i don wanna hurt anymore,i don wanna,i don wanna see u
i don wanna love anymore,i don wanna pain,i don wanna hurt.


silince night kills me.i say shhhhh n stuck there.....

where did i go wrong?

shit,i dislike my temper.why cant i just patient all the time?why cant i be patient.shit me.i guess i was too hurry n too harsh.sometimes,it is really hard for me to think peacefully.what should i do now??someone guide me please?why loving someone sincerely also very pain de,i hope that person will knw,n look at me with her heart,love me with all her heart,i dun like sharing.im not childish,im not stubborn,i just seriously need ur attention,even a small thing or little thing u do will make me smile sweetly.smiling from the bottom of my heart.i try my best to please everything.please,pray to god that everything will be okay soon.

*pray sincerely*

ps:for me two is better than one?how about u?

maybe was my fault?

cant believe just now i get angry so easily.maybe i shouldnt.i should learn how to relax!set my mind relax!




ps:well,no one misses u more than i do

vannila twilight

The stars lean down to kiss you
And I lie awake and miss you
Pour me a heavy dose of atmosphere

'Cause I'll doze off safe and soundly
But I'll miss your arms around me
I'd send a postcard to you, dear
'Cause I wish you were here

I'll watch the night turn light-blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly

The silence isn't so bad
'Til I look at my hands and feel sad
'Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

I'll find repose in new ways
Though I haven't slept in two days
'Cause cold nostalgia
Chills me to the bone

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink
I'll think of you tonight
I'll think of you tonight

When violet eyes get brighter
And heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again

And I'll forget the world that I knew
But I swear I won't forget you
Oh, if my voice could reach
Back through the past
I'd whisper in your ear
Oh darling, I wish you were here




p/s:yes darling i wish u were here with me.miss u a lot!

me always me

im always hys.i like to think why why,i like to think ss.coz im ys.but why am im feeling blue now?all the things that i can see is in blue.my bed blue.my fan blue.my room's walls blue.all in blue...lol...im seriously not in a mood now.no mood.no mood.no mood.feel so death.emm...wondering this n that.n jealousy slowly eaten my heart.it is eating my heart now.slowly n slowly...biting me.my heart feel so pain...very pain...started to bleed d....


p/s:not in a mood =/