missing you

wondering u r missing me as well?or your answer is dont know?im lost...

u deserve it

small people do small thing..big people do big thing....u r so fucking small so u deserve the bad =) a sarcastic smile for u yah...

wo ke yi

this world is so cruel...time slowly take away the naive of everyone...and mine too now...i can feel the pain that cause by the natural...but i know i can and i will recover fast....because wo ke yi!

难道我错了??

难道我做错了?我不知道,我还是一样的懦.乱,慢,逃避.也许这样是最好的.

fake a smile like usual =)

2007-2011

time flies.5 years gone.now im already 22...read back my old post.i can feel the changes that happen for me.i was really sick in doing things.i guess im mad type =) give a smile to myself.but somehow.i think i can be a betterman!!!

send someone to love me,i need to rest in arms,
keep me safe from harm,in pouring rain...

well,trust is the only thing that important for love.i must have it...

all the best heng ys!

wth

everyone got their limit.i keep quiet doesnt mean im wrong....just u cause the pain in my heart!what kinda friends u are?i was stp n childish for trusting everything that u guys say.but now im fully awake.....wake me up when september end!!!

angry!

im very angry!what i deserve that kinda treatment???what i do was really treat u as friend.but would u give a damm on how i feel?u guys know how to use mouth talk only.do u guys really use heart to feel?i was really too innocent in believing what others say,now now i can see the true colour of human!all i have now is disappointment!am i deserve it?laughing at myself...i remember all the time we pass through what what u give me is just a piece of shit!i see...so this is call friendship that u have called??whoah..it is too deep n i cant understand it.i still need to learn a lot man to be fake in life.pls forgive me that for not having such talent in my life.stay away from my life.i wont remember u anymore!i will in peaceful.i no need nonsense friends in my life anymore.what i need is only true friends.get lose loser.and this smile is for u!!=)
and a last word for u is "FUCK OFF BITCH"!

what what what

life is really hard...lol....i tried my best.why cant u see it?lol..ist a bad thing..really bad thing i did?what can i do...when my heart already torn into pieces and bleeding all this while?am i too weak?can i admit that im lost.im turning in the dark circle...

im missing

im really trying my best not to think!not to think!not to think!i feel heartache,but im really missing u.

im lost!!

i do something i think i should n then i shouldnt!im lost!i think im loosing everythings!im suffer!pain!what can i do to make myself feel better?pls dun make it ur way!what u think is not really work when u r just thinking that will make me feel better!!!!

illusion

well.i dun knw why im feeling this...i do what also no energy.i think and think,and i will keep thinking about it.i knw it.i really knw it.

uselsss

always think that im better than what i expect.but actually im not.
i knw im not but i wish im the one.
i really hope,really hope.why they are so talented.
im feeling suffer.minds blowing...

a pair of drumsticks

well,i need a pair of drumsticks.im craving for it.what kinds of drumsticks i want?well,actually the drumsticks that im asking for is a kind of spirit.something that can lead me to my dreams land.i don wish to fall,i wish to continue chasing my dreams.i need to hold on tight.i need!and i will find a drumstick which suit me the most!i can do it!

i drop my tears

u will ask me why,and i will tell you why.

currently,im working at mp,selling shoes.n today it was such a wonderful day for me,i drop my tears for it.Got a family came my working shop today,malay family,when i was standing inside,i saw a guy keep flipping at the discount shoes,those very cheap wan,then i not really care la,then walked away.till after that my manager told me,got one family she serving is so pity,she feel pity towards them.well,so i went out n have a look at them.well,it was the guy who was flipping those discount shoes.frm the appearance,can see that,they are not a rich family.a mummy,a daddy and a cute daughter.mummy a bit fat,daddy got tummy but their daughter is so adorable.very quiet n sitting between her parents.and she look at me n smile sweetly.i think she is only around 4 to 5 years old.her dad choose a cheap shoes,it is only around rm30.Then while they are waiting for my manager to take the shoes for the daddy to try,her dad like playing with her daughter,wanna punch her,but didnt really slap la..then her mummy walk around.then saw the discount shoes for kid.50% discount.she brought the shoes to her daughter and then let her tried.the size is just nice.then she keep teasing her daughter ask her want or not.her daughter smile so damm sweetly,very sweet n super cute!really cute.i can see her happiness when her mum was asking her.then her mum ask her dad want buy or not.her dad said ok.the shoes is only rm15 after discount,but it is really nice.after that,her mum took her wallet out,only left few bucks inside it,so she took out the ic holder and then took out money frm there,frm my view,i can see that there r only 3 pieces of rm50.so she took out one and wanna use it for the payment.then they move already and went to the counter to pay the bill,


By the time i was looking at the daddy tried his shoes and without really care about the design,he tried few design,cause all he wanted is just a right size,he not really care about the shoes design.i feel very pathetic and sad,and when i saw her daughter tried the shoes d and showing her contented and happy face,my tears drop,but no one really see it...

At that moment,i ask myself.where is the meaning?what i want.i admit i have been lost for a long long time,it was such a long time i dun have such feeling till i met this family.thanks god,i saw a lot of things...really a lot.and all these i cant buy it with money.

I realised when im getting older,and im growing frm years to years.all the innocent thinking gone.once i step in this society.i start to change.where is the heart should i hold on?the right thinking?till today,i only found it again.


Tears drop from my eyes,this time,im saying it with sincerity...


*so i knew it

empty

maybe was trying...
was trying to hold....
maybe just walked apart...
maybe the timing is spending my heart....
empty...
everything is a lie,
we live in a lie....
we live in pain...
life with ho mercy...
burning ur heart with fire...

happy day!!

yessshh!!i got 14.4 over 20 for my bmg!i knw this is not high enough!!but it is a good news for me!1st time of me experience this.i feel excited n happy!haha.worth it!now i just hope i can do well in the rest of my paper!happy happy!!today is a good day for me!went for interview just now!at gogo...about bmg wan,got free drink then went arena,mr koh the jetty incharge treat us the whisky!i drink a bit!whisky plus coke!haha then rite went for duck mee!haha!


today was a good good day!n i knw 2ml will be better =)
shinning hope plus shinning star!im near by baby!!

peace...whee~~~~~~~~~~~~ XD

tired

!!!!!tired!!!
and i feel so hate!!!
hate hate hate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what the hell im doing here??????????????
geram sial.........................hate n hate!!!!!!
working!studying n fighting everyday.tired.i want a better life.

cry =(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smile?

emm.i dun like to smile.coz i feel that my smile is kinda weird n silly.i hate my smile...but i like to see people smile.emm.why i like to see people smile?cause by seeing people smile,they can replace my smile.i no need to smile n they will smile for me...



i hate smile......
cause im complicated......

自己

问自己到底累不累?问自己到底还可以吗?问自己怎么了?
我很爱泪,我已经快停下脚步,不想在想那么多.
累,我是人类,我很累,但我的泪更累.
很累!请不要把我弄的更累!我已无力承受!
不是就不是.不要在说了!我不是了不起!我只是玩不起!
我累了...

不知不觉我的眼泪掉下来了.